


Trapped In Silence

by closetbidisaster



Series: Fics inspired by songs [21]
Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Hopeful Ending, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:47:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21633901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/closetbidisaster/pseuds/closetbidisaster
Summary: Bound to your sideI'm trapped in silenceJust a possessionIs this sex or only violenceOrAlex just wants to help Kelley
Relationships: Alex Morgan/Kelley O'Hara, Kelley O'Hara/Original Male Character(s)
Series: Fics inspired by songs [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1516991
Comments: 1
Kudos: 35





	Trapped In Silence

**Author's Note:**

> Title from S.O.S (Anything But Love) by Apocalyptica
> 
> Suggested by @ClaDanvers
> 
> There are references to domestic violence and sexual assault in this fic! If that either or both of those are triggers for you, please do not read!
> 
> I promise the next fic won't be as heavy!
> 
> Come yell at me on Tumblr @closetbidisaster

The first time Kelley showed up at her dorm sporting a heavily bruised side, Alex’s first instinct was to drive her to a hospital. The older girl had convinced her not to though, telling a tale of how she had fallen down some concrete stairs but that she was okay. The younger one was hesitant to believe the story, but Kelley swore she was telling the truth. So Alex let it go for the time being.

The second time Kelley arrived at her suite, this time looking like she had been mugged, Alex had pulled her into her private bedroom and grabbed an ice pack before attempting to find out what had happened to her. The older girl had spent the night at her place after telling her that a pick-up game with her brother’s friends had gotten out of hand. Alex hadn’t believed a word of that story, but since she didn’t know what had actually happened, she didn’t know what to do.

When they woke the next day, the older girl had moved around like a zombie. She appeared to be trapped in her own mind, almost afraid to speak. She would move away if Alex got too close, flinching so hard at a sudden movement by her one time that apologies came spilling out of the younger girl’s mouth at the speed of light. She had no idea what made her best friend flinch so hard, but she was afraid of making any sudden movements, worrying that she might freak the other girl out.

Kelley hated how hard she flinched when Alex moved her hand too quickly for her to process properly. The younger girl had been standing next to her, speaking, and had made a gesture with her hand. The older one hadn’t been anticipating the movement and had flinched as if she had actually been struck. The few seconds of stunned silence followed by the numerous apologies that came from Alex only made Kelley feel worse. It wasn’t Alex’s fault that she had a nervous twitch. Her best friend had been nothing but loving their entire friendship and she hated that she made the girl doubt that when she reacted the way she did.

But she didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know how to tell her best friend that her boyfriend’s anger had been taken out on her, physically and emotionally. She didn’t know how to explain how he had violated her body and laughed it off afterward, or how he had verbally degraded her to the point where she longer believed she had anyone, save Alex, to lean on. She had learned to go numb to the pain after three months; she would switch her brain off, basically blacking out during the assaults.

If she could slip away after the deed was done, she would run to Alex. She knew the younger girl wouldn’t press too much but would take care of her all the same. She also knew she could trust her best friend to let her borrow concealer if she had any visible bruises. She was praying she could keep her best friend off her case until she found a way to properly address the situation, but she knew the time was running out.

Alex insisted she spend the night again and since Kelley didn’t know how to say no to the younger girl, she agreed. She felt guilty when she slipped out of the dorm and headed for her boyfriend’s apartment, but she knew if she spent another night away from him there would be hell to pay. She prayed he would be asleep and she could just quietly slip into his bed, but she wasn’t that lucky.

He was sitting on his couch, facing the door and waiting for her. The apartment reeked of alcohol and he was obviously drunk. Kelley’s heart rate started to increase; she knew tonight would be a rough one. She braced herself as she approached the couch to sit down next to him and waited for him to speak.

“Where were you?” His voice is strangely calm, but the nerves don’t leave Kelley.

“I spent the night with Alex.”

“Why? Do you think you’re too good to spend the night here with me?”

“No, Damien. That’s not-” she’s cut off as her boyfriend’s familiar angry voice breaks in.

“Then why the fuck didn’t you come back? What the hell gave you the idea that you could just run off like that?”

“I didn’t think-”

“You never think! That’s the fucking problem!” Damien raises a hand and Kelley braces herself for impact, but it doesn’t come. Instead, her boyfriend strikes the coffee table before standing up. She’s surprised for a moment but relieved. It doesn’t last long though; Damien grabs her arm and roughly pulls her to her feet and drags her towards his bedroom.

“You fucking asked for this,” is the last thing she hears before shutting her brain down and wishing she had stayed at Alex’s.

* * *

They are laying in Alex’s bed, having just woken up from a two-hour nap. Kelley can feel Alex’s eyes on her and knows the younger girl wants to ask. Sighing, she turns to face her best friend and locks eyes with her.

“Just ask, Lex. I know you want to.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Al. Just like always,” is the automatic response.

“No, Kel. I need a real answer. Are you okay? Please don’t lie to me.”

Looking at her best friend, she can’t find it in her to keep lying. “No,” comes out in a broken whisper and she feels her walls crumbling. She tries to keep the tears from falling but completely loses it when she feels Alex’s arms wrap around her small frame.

“How long has this been happening?” Kelley takes a shaky breath.

“It started about six months after we started dating.” She hears Alex inhale sharply.

“You’ve been dating for almost two years, Kel. Why haven’t you left him? Why haven’t you talked to anyone?”

She shakes her head, trying to think of how to explain it to her best friend.

“It’s not that easy, Lex. I-I thought I could fix things. I thought I could fix him. And then, by the time I realized I couldn’t, it was too late. I felt trapped; I felt alone. I live with him, Al. I’ll be homeless!”

“Kel,” the younger girl speaks gently, “you know you are always welcome to crash here. And I promise you, you are never alone. I will always be here for you; I need you to know that. Your safety is the number one priority, okay?” Kelley nods in response.

“Are you going to need to go back and grab anything? Do you want me to get your things?”

“I can get them. He’ll be in class right now, so I can get in and out. I’ll be back in thirty minutes.”

Alex watches her leave and prays that Damien is actually in class. The bad feeling in the pit of her stomach suggests she is wrong.

* * *

Slowly opening the door, Kelley pokes her head inside. Hearing nothing, she figures it’s safe to go inside. She walks to the bedroom, intent on grabbing a duffel bag, packing some clothes and other essentials and then returning to Alex. She freezes when she steps through the doorway; Damien is sleeping in the bed. She knows he’s a heavy sleeper, so she is hopeful she can still slip in and out fairly quickly. 

She grabs a duffel bag and slowly opens the closet door. She doesn’t look at what all she’s grabbing; she’s trying to move quickly and quietly. She then moves to the bathroom, grabbing her toothbrush and toothpaste before deciding she’ll go to the store to buy anything else she may need. She slips out of the bathroom and heads for the front door but is stopped in her tracks when she hears a voice.

“Kelley? Is that you?” She hates herself for freezing, but his voice has a way of shutting her down. She doesn’t move, doesn’t speak, and waits. She’s hoping he’ll stay in bed and go back to sleep, but she hears movement and curses quietly.

“What do we have here, huh? Trying to leave me, are you?” He’s behind her and she refuses to turn around. She wills her feet to keep moving, to get her out of there, but her body won’t listen. He takes a step closer, right behind her, and reaches forward. Wrapping a hand around hers, he takes the duffel out of her hand and sets in on the ground. Kelley’s eyes screw shut when he presses a kiss to her neck, but she still can’t move properly. He continues to kiss up to her jaw and back down, biting down hard before pulling away. Kelley hisses in pain and squirms as he lets out a laugh.

“You’re not going anywhere. And don’t get any bright ideas about leaving after I’m through with you.” Leaning down, Damien grabs the duffel bag and places it above the fridge, where Kelley won’t be able to reach it. Returning to her, he grabs her and walks them to the bedroom. The last thought she has before shutting her mind off is hoping that someone comes to her rescue.

* * *

Alex is pacing the floor of her dorm room now. Kelley should have been back fifteen minutes ago. She wants to go find her, but there is one very crucial detail that stands in the way: she has no idea where Damien lives. After another five minutes of pacing, her roommate sighs and looks at her.

“Alex, I’m sure she’s fine. She probably got caught up with the campus traffic.” Alex shakes her head, not believing that for a second.

“No, she would have called, Christen. She would have called or texted or something if she was only caught up by something like traffic. Something’s happened, I just know it.”

“Alright, well, where does he live? We can go get her.” The blue-eyed girl chews her bottom lip, looking at Christen.

“I don’t actually know. I’ve never been. Kelley would never let me take her or pick her up from there.” Christen scratches her chin and hums thoughtfully. They stand there for a moment before the brown-eyed girl snaps her fingers.

“Kelley has Find My Friends turned on right?” Alex nods, not quite following.

“Great! Let’s ping her phone!” The younger girl quickly pulls her phone out and looks for Kelley’s. She finds it at an apartment complex about a five-minute walk away from the dorm. Putting on shoes and grabbing their keys, they quickly leave and follow the map towards the pinging blue dot.

They arrive at the complex and look around. “Okay. New problem,” Alex looks at the phone before glancing at her roommate, “we have no idea which apartment is his.” It’s a relatively small complex, so they know they could theoretically go to each door and knock to see if Damien lived there or not. But they also know they need to find Kelley soon. Standing in the parking lot, neither notice a girl approaching them until she speaks.

“You guys lost?” Alex and Christen startle slightly at the voice before nodding in response.

“Are you looking for a friend?”

“Uh, sort of…”

The girl raises an eyebrow questioningly but doesn’t press.

“Okay. Who is it? Maybe I know them.” The two friends look at each other for a moment before Alex speaks again.

“Damien.”

“Damien…?”

Alex’s face goes blank, matching her mind. She realizes she doesn’t know his last name. Looking at Christen, the other girl simply shrugs to signal that she doesn’t know it either.

“Uh, I don’t-I don’t know his last name.”

The new girl tilts her head to the side, thinking. “Hm, I don’t directly know a Damien, but I know a girl who’s dating a Damien that lives here. She’s in a couple of the writing classes I’m in; I’ve brought her here before.”

“Wait, you know Kelley O’Hara?”

“Yeah, we’ve had a few classes together over the last few semesters. Wait, why are you looking for Damien?”

The girls share a look again and Alex is at a loss for words, but Christen speaks up so she doesn’t have to. “We were supposed to meet them here, at his apartment. But Kelley never told us his apartment number and she’s not answering her phone.” She gives a quick smile to the girl in front of them.

“Oh, well I know which apartment it is. He lives in building three, apartment three thirty-three.” She points behind her towards said building and Alex lets out a sigh of relief.

“Thank you so much,” she looks at the girl, realizing she hadn’t gotten her name.

“Tobin. Tobin Heath. And it’s no problem. I’ve gotta head, but tell Kelley I say hi and that I’ll see her in class.” the girl walks past them, towards campus as the two of them begin walking quickly towards the apartment. Both girls are half-hoping they find their friend here and half-hoping they don’t.

They find the apartment and Alex raises a hand to knock. Before she can make contact with the door, they hear a loud thud coming from inside. Both girls look at each other before hearing another thud, followed by a groan of pain. Alex’s eyes widen and she reaches for the door handle instead, breathing out a sigh of relief when she finds it unlocked. The two of them step inside the door and are horrified by what they find on the other side.

Damien is standing over Kelley, who is cowering in a corner and stripped down to her underwear and bra. He heard the door open and his head turned towards the doorway, narrowing when he saw who had come in.

“What the hell are you doing here?” When he receives no response, he growls and steps away from Kelley, stepping towards them instead.

“I said, what the hell are you doing here? How did you find my apartment?” Alex wordlessly lifts her phone and shakes it a little, showing the map to him. He whips around and takes a step back towards Kelley.

“You can’t do anything right, can you? How many times do I have to tell you to turn off your location when you’re here?” Kelley is shaking, not making eye contact. Something snaps inside Alex as she gets over her shock and she marches up to Damien. Putting herself in between her best friend and the abuser, she glares at him, furious. The boy just scoffs and places a hand on Alex’s shoulder, intent on moving her out of the way. She grabs his wrist and, moving quickly, twists it behind his back before pushing him against a wall.

“You will never touch her again, do you hear me? We’re getting her things and we’re taking her and leaving. I swear to God, if you ever bother her again I will break your arm,” she growls and pushes his arm up. The boy squirms but doesn’t respond.

“Where are her things?” Damien just shakes his head, but the pain is clear on his face. So, Alex pushes his arm up a little more.

“Ow ow ow. Okay, geez. The duffel is above the fridge.” Alex just looks at Christen who had taken a seat next to Kelley. She nods and stands, going to grab the duffel from the kitchen. When she returns, Alex looks back at Damien.

“Now, you and I are going to stay right here while Kelley goes to get dressed. Then, you are going to verbally swear you will never see her again or attempt to contact her. Understood?” Damien squirms again but nods in response.

Christen guides Kelley to the bedroom, but the smaller girl refuses to enter, whimpering. The fire inside Alex only grows and she moves the boy’s arm up a little more, infuriated at the fact that he did this to her. Christen speaks softly to the smaller girl before entering the room herself and returning a few seconds later with a t-shirt and shorts for her to put on. Kelley gets dressed slowly and stiffly. She lets out a quiet groan when she moves too fast and takes a few shaky breaths before continuing.

When she’s finished, she and Christen walk to the front door. Alex pulls Damien off the wall but doesn’t loosen her grip. “Now, Damien. I believe you have something to say to Kelley.”

The boy turns his head to glare at her, but she stands her ground. He grits his teeth and turns back towards the smaller girl.

“I promise I won’t see you again,” Alex twists his arm a little, “ow ow ow and I won’t try to contact you.” Kelley doesn’t respond, won’t even look up from where her eyes are focused on the ground. Alex pushes Damien away and walks over to Christen and Kelley.

The three of them leave in silence.

* * *

Kelley wakes up in a familiar bed. The sheets next to her are still warm, signifying that the taller brunette had only recently got up. She burrows deeper under the covers, not wanting to get out of bed. She can hear voices outside the bedroom, knowing that meant Alex and Christen had given her some space but were still close enough should she need them.

“I’m worried too, Alex. I would love if the threatening would be enough to keep him away, but I don’t know if it is.”

“Could we take her to get a restraining order?”

“We can. But let’s let her sleep for now, yeah? We can deal with it in the morning.”

“In the morning, yeah. I’m gonna go check on her.”

Kelley’s eyes are still closed when Alex enters the room and gently sits on the bed next to her. The older girl can’t find it in herself to open her eyes, so she just lays there as the younger one softly runs her fingers through her hair, lulling her back to sleep. Before she slips under, she hears one last comment from her best friend. It’s so soft and she’s half asleep, she prays she heard correctly.

“Oh, Kelley. If only you knew how much I love you.”

* * *

Kelley wakes up tucked into Alex’s side, the younger girl’s arm wrapped around her shoulders protectively, while Kelley’s arm is thrown over Alex’s abdomen. She keeps her arm around her best friend but pulls her head back a little to study her profile. The sunlight is streaming in from the open blinds, giving Alex’s skin a soft glow and highlighting her hair beautifully. Kelley had always known about her feelings for the younger girl. She had refrained from ever doing anything for fear of losing her best friend. And then she had met Damien.

He had been sweet and charming, pulling her in. She had learned about his temper after a couple of months of dating. But she hadn’t said anything because his anger was always directed towards the drywall or a punching bag. After six months, he turned his anger on her, using her as a punching bag instead. She’s beyond grateful that Alex and Christen came to get her, but she’s nervous as hell about her feelings for her best friend.

It’s not that she doesn’t trust Alex, she does. She trusts her more than she trusts anyone, herself included. But she also knows it will be a long, slow recovery from her last relationship. She sleeps comfortably in Alex’s bed next to her and that brings some relief. The younger girl had offered to crash with Christen or on the couch until Kelley was comfortable. But she had refused, knowing she would sleep better with her best friend next to her.

But the older girl still flinches when the door closes too loudly or someone raises their voice suddenly. She still freezes when someone grabs her from behind or when she feels someone standing behind her. She is slowly improving, but it is frustrating her beyond belief. She hates being treated like she’s fragile, but she knows she is. She knows her friends are only looking out for her.

She’s pulled from her thoughts by the girl next to her beginning to stir from her sleep. Alex opens her eyes and looks at her and all Kelley can think about is how blue her eyes are and how pretty they are reflected by the sunlight.

“Hi,” the younger girl whispers, a small smile on her lips.

“I love you too,” tumbles out of Kelley’s mouth before she can stop herself. The younger girl looks confused for a second before a look of realization dawns on her face.

“You do?”

“I’ve always loved you. I’m sorry it took so long for me to do something about it. I’m sorry you had to rescue me.”

The younger of the two just shakes her head. “Don’t apologize. Don’t ever apologize for that. You are so brave, Kel. I’m sorry it took so long for me to help you.”

“You came through, Lex. That’s what matters most.”

“I’ll always come through for you. I love you.”

Kelley smiles at her best friend, knowing the road will be long and slow but also knowing there’s no one else she would rather walk it with. She tucks a loose strand of hair behind the blue-eyed girl’s ear.

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Up next: a fic inspired by a Phil Collins song!
> 
> If you have any suggestions throw them my way! In honor of it being December, I am now completely open to Christmas song suggestions as well!


End file.
